Today is a day that women are gathering and reaching out to discuss healing. I don’t know of anyone that hasn’t had at least one life altering event that sticks with them. I would even venture to say that some people are dealing with many occurrences that happened years ago but is governing their behavior today. As I reflect on healing, I think of acknowledgement and forgiveness.

Acknowledgement:
1. Acknowledge that it happened.
Everyone has secrets and some people have “big fibs”. The big fibs are things that happened, but no one can prove. Or, the story has transformed over the years. It doesn’t matter if it is a secret, fib, lie or a chicken crossing the road. You can’t face what you don’t recognize and acknowledge.

2. Acknowledge why it has had a significant impact.
Things happen every day. 365 days equals 8760 hours. In case you never thought of it this way, that is a lot of time. Now multiply that by your age. Why is something that happened, in what amounts to insignificant time, in comparison to your life span hold you emotionally hostage? Did someone disappoint you? Was someone able to shame you? How come you have allowed it to change the way you navigate your world?

“A flashback is a gift that pinpoints the space and time where a wound was created, and its opening is an announcement that a time of healing is present.” - Dr. Bill Tollefson

Forgiveness:
1. Forgive yourself.
You deserve kindness and mercy from yourself. Forgive yourself for being who you were at the moment. Forgive yourself for choosing to make a decision based on fear and not faith. Forgive yourself for thinking, I deserve better but I am going to take this. It happened. And, guess what? You are still here. The moment has technically passed. There is no reason to look for blame. That will only make you upset. Look for a space of peace and understanding. You are cracking the door for self-love and forgiveness. You did what you thought you had to do at that moment. You’ve grown and developed from that person; let yourself free from the cage.

2. Forgive the situation.
That was then, and this is now. It could have happened last week or yesterday. That was still then. The people in the situation with you. The place that you inhabited at the time. Forgive it all. Your tranquility and perception management is affected. Each day brings something new. How many new things do you view from a place that doesn’t exist anymore?  How many blessings are you not receiving?

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.” – Unknown

Consider yourself as you think about healing. You can’t twitch your nose or say abracadabra than you are healed from a situation or memory. It will take time. I’ve found that depending on the scar, apologies from others aren’t enough to actually make you feel better. Some people have scars; others have holes with scar tissue caked up around it. In all cases, we are a human being that is ever evolving and growing. Moving forward and thriving beyond any circumstance is in your reach.